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Self-love? Or God's love?

‘Love yourself’, ‘You are enough’, ‘Prioritise self-care’…   You will often hear these phrases nowadays, particularly if you are young, female and spend any length of time on Instagram. The ideas behind these well-intentioned phrases are a counter to codependence and external validation; they turn the focus to reliance on and prioritisation of the self.   My personal view is that this cultural trend of self-love and self-reliance, while not new, has grown as the importance of committed relationships and duty towards one other has been diminished. If there is no way you can rely on anyone other than yourself to fulfil your emotional needs, then you’d better build up a bank of self-love to feed off. What this self-centered narrative is saying is “you can be your own source of all that you need”.   If this is true and if I can fully take care of myself, then why would I need God to “make me lie down in green pastures” (Psalm 23v2)? If I am perfect just the way I ...
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The Season we are in

I'm aware that I haven't written a post since January and lots has changed since then. I was a bit reluctant to do a post on Covid as I just feel it's just all we are taking about at the moment but also felt like it would be wrong to not talk about it. It's such a unique season and it's such an opportunity for us to press in more to God and experience him in new ways. I just wanted to take some time to reflect on this season and share a few things I have/am still learning in this season  1) God is still in the throne and he has the ultimate authority This is something I am reminding myself of daily throughout this season. It seems like our whole world has been turned upside down but God is God and we can stand firm in the fact that he is the same yesterday, today and forever.  2) Take time to reflect on how you want your life to look once we head back to normality. This season has given many of us opportunities to try new things, establish new rout...

Dating a Non Christian - some food for thought

Hello! It's been a while since my last post but hoping to get back into the rhythm and routine again. Today's topic is dating a non-Christian. This is something that has been on my heart for a while and, in fact, something I have personally journeyed through.  I grew up in a Christian family, went to church and was part of a youth group as a teenager. I had heard the 'don't date a non-Christian' debate many a time. The question always without a doubt came up when we had sessions at youth group on relationships. The answer was always the same - it was never a definite 'no' nor a definite 'yes', but there was always a sense of it being something that was frowned upon.  My experience is probably not unique. Many of the issues around relationships were discussed but it was always focussed on the 'don't do this', etc, but never really encouraging us to explore the reasons why. To hear Father God's heart for some of these big is...

The Power of Words

I've been reflecting on my words and the power they have. I am a bit of a chatterbox naturally and I also talk incredibly fast. I love talking, but have been challenged recently about the power in what we say and when we choose not to speak. I've had a couple of situations over the past year that have lead to me feeling hurt and upset. I didn't quite realise how much so at the time but was chatting and praying with the Lord the other week and it all came to the surface. I was really struggling with it and struggling to understand why I was still upset and hurt when the incident had happened a good 6 months previously and He said to me, "You are choosing to speak death over it. Every time you talk about this situation you focus on the negatives and you are choosing to let this have power over you. You need to choose to speak life over them". God reminded me of the passage in Ezekiel where God commands Ezekiel to breathe the breath of God into the dry bones. He ...

Celebrating Physical Beauty

I hope the title of the blog has got you thinking and asking questions straight away. Beauty is something that is subjective, yet very much idolised in our society. As women, we are fed images of impossibly perfect women, who we are led to believe never have a bad hair day or worry about the shape of their hips, arms, legs, or whatever part of your body you struggle to like. I have been on a journey myself with the issue. My Grandma is incredibly 'girlie', for want of a better word, in that she loves to wear makeup and look nice and how she looks is a big deal. My mum is the opposite - she does care about how she looks, but she hardly ever wears makeup and is just not fussed either way. Seeing the contrast growing up was interesting to observe. As a teenager, I went through a stage of wearing makeup. I listened as friends talked about how many spots they had and how they couldn't possibly be seen outside the house without some mascara on. It didn't sit right with me...

Extroverts and Introverts

I said I wanted to do a post about this, so here it is. Extroverted or Introverted? It seems to be the buzz question asked, particularly in community (at least that is my experience). And whilst I think it is helpful to understand and appreciate which one you associate with more, I feel there is a danger of becoming defined by this label. I am naturally extroverted and, as a result, thrive on being around people. I love going for coffee, hanging out with friends, etc. Being around people brings me great joy. But recently I have really learned to value being content on my own.  I can get into the habit of filling my time with people but burning out and running on empty. Or seeing people every night in a week and struggling to find time to journal and be with the Lord. There is a time and a place for even the most extroverted person to seek time on their own to just be. I have definitely had seasons in my life where I have let my extroversion define me. I used to dread being on...

Celebrating a Wedding as a single Girlie

This is something that I feel really passionate about (some might say a bit too passionate - you have been warned). I have hit the age where my friends are in relationships and are getting engaged and married. It is such a joyful time watching your friends meet amazing men of God who cherish them and encourage them to be all that God has for them. With this comes the dread of having to go to weddings on my own as a single person! Let's stop right there! When should it EVER be a dread to go somewhere just because your relationship status is single!?! It shouldn't and it doesn't need to be.  This summer I ended up with a fair few weddings and as I shared and chatted to people I had a common response of  "Oh, going to weddings on your own is really hard. It makes you feel rubbish about being single." This isn't exactly the most helpful thing to hear. It made me ask lots of unhelpful questions. What if it is awful going to weddings on my own? I don't wan...