‘Love yourself’, ‘You are enough’, ‘Prioritise self-care’… You will often hear these phrases nowadays, particularly if you are young, female and spend any length of time on Instagram. The ideas behind these well-intentioned phrases are a counter to codependence and external validation; they turn the focus to reliance on and prioritisation of the self. My personal view is that this cultural trend of self-love and self-reliance, while not new, has grown as the importance of committed relationships and duty towards one other has been diminished. If there is no way you can rely on anyone other than yourself to fulfil your emotional needs, then you’d better build up a bank of self-love to feed off. What this self-centered narrative is saying is “you can be your own source of all that you need”. If this is true and if I can fully take care of myself, then why would I need God to “make me lie down in green pastures” (Psalm 23v2)? If I am perfect just the way I ...